So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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