Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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