After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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