Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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