when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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