Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
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