ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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