Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
You have to summon your inner elephant
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Randomize
