just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
