My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Randomize
