my mouth tastes like poor choices
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
