We're like a lot better than the average bears
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
