You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
