He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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