K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
