People with herpes should wear stickers.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
