You're my little dorito
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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