I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
