FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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