If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
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What drink are we having for lunch?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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