I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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