I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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