Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
