she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Randomize
