he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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