i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
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