You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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