he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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