I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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