it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
