I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
