We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
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I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
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You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
i out mim tonsoeep
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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