I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
This is my gift to your gina
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
