Kiss
Puke
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
