i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
