Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (785): I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best http://tfl.nu/ugel
  Replies (13) Good night (937) Bad night (2259)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck http://tfl.nu/y61e
  Replies (35) Good night (1153) Bad night (6370)
• Favorite

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (320): I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town http://tfl.nu/1n02
  Replies (32) Good night (4202) Bad night (1187)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them. http://tfl.nu/wqtw
  Replies (32) Good night (5444) Bad night (1271)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (423): She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride" http://tfl.nu/esrx
  Replies (11) Good night (2848) Bad night (862)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (780): downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning http://tfl.nu/3yhr
  Replies (5) Good night (3439) Bad night (1137)
• Favorite

  (936): View more from Texas

  You can't call dibs 8 years later.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (936): You can't call dibs 8 years later. http://tfl.nu/gnnz
  Replies (7) Good night (2533) Bad night (973)
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (316): At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment http://tfl.nu/s8j6
  Replies (4) Good night (1460) Bad night (568)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (701): Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect. http://tfl.nu/4n2p
  Replies (2) Good night (664) Bad night (1003)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon

  (310): View more from California

  Fuck you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon (310): Fuck you. http://tfl.nu/u7vm
  Replies (6) Good night (2242) Bad night (659)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him http://tfl.nu/o7zk
  Replies (3) Good night (1131) Bad night (541)
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (231): Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans... http://tfl.nu/n7qg
  Replies (4) Good night (532) Bad night (1117)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (775): I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab http://tfl.nu/nlzo
  Replies (2) Good night (1356) Bad night (449)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender. http://tfl.nu/johq
  Replies (1) Good night (544) Bad night (364)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords. http://tfl.nu/p2f6
  Replies (2) Good night (473) Bad night (253)

Randomize