i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line