so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Randomize
