How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
