I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
