there's paper in my vomit.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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