A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Randomize
