I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
