I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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