it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
