you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
