I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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