At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
