I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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