am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
