I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
We have so much sex to catch up on
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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