I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
All the doctor said was why
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
