They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
