need another drink. this is the easiest way
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
