can we get nightvision for the apartment?
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
