I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
