I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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