You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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