it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
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