In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I'm at about main and main street
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
