Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
