shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
