I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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