So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
